Of all the tips and tricks I teach my clients for interviewing -- from eradicating anxiety in one move to my 3-point 'dream girl' closing structure to how to break the ice in 20 second on zoom -- the biggest relief is helping them turn the interview into a conversation.
You've likely experienced this:
"Hey Tom, how was your weekend." "So great to meet you, how's Atlanta..." ...smalltalk ensues...polite chuckle "So tell me about yourself..."
And AWAY WE GO - the interview is ON, baby.
And it all starts pretty easy.
Polite conversation. Rapport building. Tell me about yourself.
And sooner or later, it happens.
The pleasant, disarming, 'let's get to know each other' interview zoom transforms a-la-David-Copperfield into a bona-fide interrogation room.
It sneaks up. Like that third mile of a hike that makes you question if you really wanted to come on that woodsy adventure at all.
And 9-times-out-of-10, the interviewer doesn't even realize what's happened either. But my, how they've changed.
And listen, they mean well but they're defaulting to what they've prepared (or not prepared) meaning they've been given a list of questions to ask by HR, or their mentor, or dare I say it...shhh...ChatGPT (I bet you could have guessed). Then trust me, they'll be stressing later over drinks with their spouse or mentor when they're trying to figure out who moves on.
But I digress.
So, you play along. You answer their first naturally-phrased question -- You finish "telling them about yourself," and then they look at their notes for question #2.
And you experience it.
That first awkward, just-a-little-too-long pause.
My friends, this is when you know.
And unless you want to hang around with the 6-month-to-hire average the market is seeing, you're going to have to put on your captain's hat and TURN. THIS. SHIP. AROUND.
You must turn this from a interrogation to a conversation -- fast.
Or be lost in a sea of similarly sounding candidates for weeks (and sometimes weeks and weeks).
Interrogations vs. Conversations
Here is the difference between interviews conducted in the traditional way vs. discovery call-style conversations.
Interrogations = They'll ask you apples-to-apples questions as they do with all the other candidates. You'll tell them prepared answers highlighting your latest and greatest. They tell you you'll be considered and then go home, not really sure, to think about your experience and determine, when compared to all the other similar-sounding answers, if you're the best fit.
(They may be able to determine a difference but it's rare. Hiring is rarely taught. This leads to a focus on your gaps, logos, timelines, and lack/presence of direct specialty experience.)
oof.
Conversations = You break them out of boilerplate questions, dig and LISTEN, then workshop the business during the chat based on their goals, their priorities, and their understanding of the business. You get to know what they care about so deeply you BOTH know if you're the right hire.
(This leads to easier decisions by the hiring manager, better-fit jobs for you, faster processes and offers -- AND less focus on irrelevant things like gaps, age, specialties, logos, and timelines. You become, as we say, "The OBVOIUS Choice.")
And if you want results like those from "Conversation-style" interviews, it's up to you.
You are in charge for how this conversation plays out.
And hey, I've got you covered.
The Fix
So what do we do?
One small interview habit that can change the entire ballgame of your conversation -- taking it from a forced interrogation with awkward pauses, to a productive conversation where you're workshopping the solutions with the interviewer -- is this:
Ask a question at the end of 70-80% of your answers.
Yep.
This will do 3 things.
- Unearth the (actual) problems they need solved.
- Snap you into 'listening' mode so you know what to bring up about yourself.
- Get you plugging-and-playing solutions (together) that actually fit their needs.
Badda Bing, Badda Boom -- you're interviewing like you're wanting to WIN this business (because you are).
If this sounds like how you would sell into a new account, you're right.
Same sale. Different room.
Your unique set of skills? The Product.
80/20 Rule
On average, you should be doing 80% listening.
(I bet the latest IG Reel or Linkedin Video you saw was all about what to say right? IKR?)
Instead, try 80/20
More questions. More listening.
It's okay if it's not perfectly 80%. If they ask you to say more, do.
And keep your questions natural and connected to what you were talking about.
Not canned.
You'll notice it's working when the person on the other side of the table (or screen) relax and turn down their 'formal' language a bit.
Why This Works
Recently, in a coaching session, I told a client:
"Get in the habit of asking a question at the end of your answers."
It sounds simple because it is.
But simple does not mean small.
Most interviews follow a predictable rhythm.
The interviewer asks.
The candidate answers.
The interviewer asks again.
The candidate answers again.
That rhythm can make even strong candidates feel like they are being tested. It also puts all the conversational control on the other side of the table.
When you add a thoughtful question to the end of an answer, you gently change the rhythm.
You still answer.
But then you invite the hiring manager into the business conversation.
What It Sounds Like
Instead of ending with:
"So that is how I grew the territory."
Try:
"So that is how I grew the territory. Does that sound like the kind of momentum this geography needs? What have you and your team tried so far?"
Instead of:
"That is how I handled the launch."
Try:
"That is how I handled the launch. What do you see as the biggest risk in this launch?"
Instead of:
"That is how I built trust with the office."
Try:
"That is how I built trust with the office. Are there specific call points here where trust has been harder to earn?"
The answer is still yours.
But now the hiring manager gets to tell you what matters to them and the business.
Different Levels of Questions
The goal is not to interview the interviewer. You certainly don't want to become a firing squad from your end of the table. You just built all this goodwill, right? And we need them to feel 'in charge' of this decision after all. Don't steal too much of that power away.
Be subtle.
Stop monologuing and start discovering.
Not every question needs to be hard-hitting but do make them genuine (and not boring, done-a-million-times questions).
Level 1 -- "What kind of candidate is successful here?"
("Yeah, Ok. Been there, rode the ride, got-the-tshirt.")
Level 5 -- "What's something you and your team did last year that you want to continue? What's something you'd like to see change?"
("Oh wow, no one's asked ME this before," said Suzy Interviewer)
Level 10 -- "I caught your CMO on YouTube talking about XYZ. What sort of impact do you think ABC will have on the 123 segment if..."
("Well d*mn, (s)he wants to be HERE. And I wonder if (s)he'll share the link with me so I can look good to my District Manager, too!" -Interviewer)
Mix 'em up.
Don't Overdo It
This should feel natural.
If every answer ends with a forced question, it will sound like a technique. And they don't all have to be "Level 10 Questions".
Use questions to genuinely help move the conversation forward.
This Helps You Stay Present
The question-at-the-end habit also helps nervous candidates because it shifts attention outward.
Instead of thinking, "Did I say that perfectly?" you start thinking, "What can I find out? What did they just tell me? What do they need? What do they care about? What would make them look really good to his/her manager? Where does my experience connect?"
That is a healthier place to be.
And it sounds more confident because you are not clinging to a script.
You are having a conversation and you're getting back-door access to what really matters to this person and in this role.
The Gameplan
Prepare your answers, sure.
But also prepare the handoff back into dialogue.
Answer the question. Make your point. Then ask something that helps you understand the role, the team, the territory, or the business problem more clearly.
That small move can make the entire interview feel less stiff, more human, and much more useful.